That’s Illegal Buddy

He never goes into his shed. This evening I was subjected to his kung fu poses in his backyard, while having coffee on my back deck. 

I placed three items in his shed two months ago. Same items, but three of them. It shouldn’t be long now until everyone knows what “he” has placed in his shed.


Howdy Neighbor

Christmas will be here soon. I must start a list that the Grin… Santa will be bringing 

The Back Deck

I was sitting on the back deck today. Had a glass of Chivas. Relaxing. I even had my feet up. I saw the neighbor through the privacy fence throwing a large area rug on the fence. Half on his side, half on my side. I thought he was probably going to beat the thing, getting the dirt, and dust out. Whatever. The noise was not going to affect me. I wouldn’t let it.

I put my head back, closed my eyes, and started to feel a fine mist on my legs. I opened my eyes to see what appeared (between the fence cracks) to be a fucking water hose. The fucker was spraying the rug out. Oblivious to the fact I was lounging. I stood up, and went inside.

5 hours later. It was nightfall.

My property sits a little higher than his. We have large lots, but his also has a dip in the middle of his back lawn that dips down, and then back up.

It’s the last of August. The second week of September I usually do one thing…and this year it wasn’t going to hurt to do it two weeks early. I’d just do it a little different this year.

I grabbed a 30 ft hose. 4 inches in diameter, and one hose cap out of my storage shed.

I placed one end into the pool, and without boring details I started the siphoning process. I threw about 6 foot of hose over the fence. Putting the hose back in my shed abut 3 hours later. THEN I hooked up another hose to his water spout, and refilled the pool. I’m not paying for that shit. Too expensive. By the time he woke up (around 9 am) all was back to normal. Except…This morning he had a pool as well, and I’ll be draining/siphoning the pool AGAIN in two weeks.


Better Than Thou

There’s many families out there with a few religious holier than thou members i it waiting for the chance to tell you about all the reasons you’re going to hell. Dealt with a few of those, but the real irritating fuckers, the ones I like to ignore are the better than you hicks. People can be smart, and come from anywhere. The city, the country, a penthouse, or a shack providing they WANT to learn. Providing they find a way to do it.

Then………there are hicks. Ones that are perfectly fine staying right where they are and …ok so these are the people you find that are the most judgemental and racist. They know what they have learned from the farm or country side and that’s it. There minds are small and their mouths huge.

ENTER Julie’s brother. Complete with a twang worse than Reba McIntire.  Eight years younger than his sister. Meaning his was a minor when Julie and I hooked up. I’m from the south. I do NOT have hick twang. Why he’s never tried to speak better, who knows. Lazy I guess.

WHY does he rub me the wrong way? We know it doesn’t take much to rub Andy the wrong way.

Oh let me fill you in. THis ass munch after reaching adulthood decides he doesn’t feel I’m right for Julie. (Mind you, we are happy together. Then and now) but he decides because we went through a rough time(financially) he’s going to call and speak his mind. Needless to say he does and let’s this be known – horrible things he said to his sister. Mean, spiteful, and he did the same about me.

Now I can take a lot, usually follow it up with some sarcastic remark and move on, but this fat dickey doo hick was calling things and didn’t think to clean his own backyard.

He was married to a woman (they had three kids) and every day dumped the kids off on Julies mother. Every day. His wife would not cook for the kids, and when the first one was born, and came to her bedroom hungry in the morning, she put the kid out of her room, shut the door, and went back to sleep. Leaving Julie’s  mother to do the cooking. OH did I mention they were living with his mom?  Yes, yes they were, yet the super trucker still felt a need to call and berate Julie and myself.  Turned her father against her for a year.

In the end what I knew was happening, did surface. His wife cheated frequently, never too care of their kids, and finally left HIM. He let her stay twice before when he found her to be cheating. Once with his buddy since childhood.

He did finally tell Julie he was sorry for what he said, and that’s good, but he has never been man enough to say a damn thing to me.

I don’t have to like him, but it’s proof that some people are happy never stimulating their minds, never growing past being narrow minded,  they are happy to be a fucking dick in ignorance. Happy acting stupid yet being unaware they look ridiculous, walking away like a puffed up banty rooster.

I can not stand ignorance. I can not stand those who speak in hate out of hate, and ignorance. Family are suppose to support, and be there for others. I have learned the hard way it’s usually family that will let you down most. I have friends that treat us better than certain members of our families. Blogs aside, where one can type sarcastic, humorous sentences on gold diggers, and annoying neighbors –  We live in a world where things are bass ackwards.  On days like today it sickens me.

No one knows the meaning of family anymore, and they chose to walk in ignorance never branching out. Content with being “one of those” who would call a good man a N***er instead of calling him a good man. A person that would rather call a gay couple Fags or Dykes than a happy couple.

I have no tolerance for hate, racism, or small minds. If you chose to be that way, don’t spread that shit like a disease. Just stay in the “barn”

In this case, karma took care of  his mouth. I’m sure getting divorced, and placing his personal on is helping karma along, and …………..shows he’s still in the same mind set that ruined his life. That hurt his children. He hasn’t changed.

His backyard was full while he was condemning us – all the while psychologically he might as well have en saying those things to himself.

Not a funny humorous post, nothing to make you laugh, but….. hate is taught folks. Small mindedness is learned, and taught as well. No one is BORN this way.

To make that point clear several years sago Julie and I were going to adopt a child. We have an only child but looked into adoption. What did a parent from BOTH of our sides say? “It won’t be black will it?” Its taught! Thank GOD Julie expanded her horizons because those are fighting words with me.

Its taught folks. Wake up.


Scare Them Away

So Kung Fu fighter comes over today while I’m in the garage. (That’s blue croc neighbor.) He was in his KA-RA-TAY get up. He told me he took Ju-Jit-Boob or something to that affect.

Anyway he’s talking about something….I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention, I was checking my other blog. I finally piped up and said, “I’ll be adding eight feet to my chimney so no one can look down it, and see me anymore.

He stopped. Silence.
Then tried to play it off with asking if I had already ordered the brick.

I stood up went inside, and came back out with the vacuum. Went straight past him, and plugged the fucker into an outside outlet. I proceeded to vacuum my lawn.

He went to his KA RAH TAAAYY


Great Dane


We got a Great Dane. This fucker is making me cross. He shits in the living room beside the coffee table, he shits in the yard. I was in the garden on my hands on knees, and guess what my knee dives into? A big human sized pile of turd, right there in the veggie garden. Not to mention he’s shitting in the flower beds too.

Anyway I got this great idea. Let him loose in my neighbor’s yard. He can shit all over the place.  So I did. I let him out after 1 am. After a big meal. Took him over to the other yard, and watched him do his thing. RIGHT THERE on my neighbor’s front porch. Perfect placement, because when they open that screen door, it’s gonna be like mud on a windshield after the wipers are turned on.

I guess that’s what happened. A few days later croc man comes over to my house while Julie is in the garden. I’m in the garage. He asked Julie about neighbors that have dogs because apparently someone around us has a canine that is not only large, but is relieving his “bowels” on his property.

Julie stood up and told him there’s not many neighbors. (we live on large tracks of land), besides us, and him there is only one other neighbor. She wasn’t aware they had a dog either. She didn’t know of anyone that had a canine, and especially a large dog. We certainly didn’t have one. We never have.

I just stood in the garage with my scotch grinning. His roses look fantastic.